over a year

Canopy inspiration

Over a year since posting to this blog and I'm thinking it would be overwhelming to update everything that has happened since the last post.  Really, what I think is more important is the impetus to simply begin again now.


My most consistent work for the past 10 months has been the design, fabric dye, cutting and sewing of Canopy, the next quilt.  Images to follow.  Coincidentally, the last post on this blog before now, was "quilt, quilt, quilt, quilt, quilt, quilt, quilt" where I was talking about, now titled, Bridge, the quilt inspired by Anni Albers' work and by the work of psychotherapy and dreams that I had begun to focus on at the time. This too is a work related to psychotherapy, dreamwork and active imagination - inner contemplation or diaglogue with the symbols of my life.  The canopy of trees that I reference is the forest canopy in my childhood patch of forest next to our house where I would play with my sister for hours during warm seasons.  Lying on the forest floor, smelling the humus of the leaf decomposing soil, and seeing the sunlight filter through the leaves - this is a wholehearted memory self as Self.  That memory was reinforced by love, love of another childhood place that seemed to love me and later a place for falling in love with my now husband, Christian.   Christian and I would lay on the forest floor and talk for as much time as we could steal away while working at the outdoor summer camp, Camp Hanover, in Virginia.  That place, the forest there, memories before and after knowing Christian were rich with life and self as Self for me.   When imagining a place that holds great potential for healing and self knowing, I think of the forest floor, protected and created by the beautiful forest canopy.  Perhaps this quilt already begs a sister - the imagery of the rich and aromatic forest floor.

Canopy sketch for quilt, Jan. - Feb. 2015

The work of Canopy, designing and creating has proven to be what I expected in a way - "I want this to be a part of an ongoing practice.  I don't want to get hung up on the idea of this work being an 'opus,' as the pressure to do so often keeps me from trying new things and keeps me from relaxing into the process of creative work."  This has, thankfully, been the case for this project.  I feel less attached to my vision/plan as the unexpected differences come up, and I am willing to take it as it comes - I think more so than usual.  The unexpected:  how the dyes act with the fiber and what colors emerge despite what colors were planned.  I wasn't expecting the swirling, flowy look of tie-dye, but...  there it is.  I expected a minty green; I got an aqua blue.  Thus, I stand on the fence of "fix it" and "accept it."

My fingers, my sewing machine, my quilt

"Fix it" or "accept it." That's probably a good metaphor for my life and my work as of the last year too.  Through 2013, I'd say it was my normal mode to "always fix it."  The urge to make everything better (better, in my opinion) was practically irresistible to me and I might push myself beyond my energies and boundaries to make it so.  Everything - my projects, our projects, even your projects!  I realize this sounds very self critical, but even if I didn't actually do the fixing, there was this inner voice that said, "but I want it to be better.  I want it to be mine."  So in learning acceptance, as in "accept it," I am hearing that voice saying "fix it," and I am responding, "is it necessary?"  It's been a shift in thinking and living that gives me great relief.  I believe my artwork will benefit most from my willingness to see the long game of the artist's practice as critical to my creative development.  Perhaps that opus that the younger me desired so fervently is simply further down the road, and releasing myself from the pressure to produce it enables the creative work to get rich with time and decomposition and cycles and repetition and ....you know - all that stuff that keeps a person alive.

quilt quilt quilt quilt quilt quilt quilt

If I say the word over and over it starts to sound unfamiliar and I have that bizarre feeling of not knowing the word nor its meaning.  I'm doing this as a way to disassociate with the traditionalist understanding of the quilt and stay grounded in my "I'll do it myself" mentality.  Once again, I've used an antiquated (though certainly rising in popularity again), homemaker's media to express concepts of dream symbolism, theories of color and design and to recognize and experience the meditative work of repetition.  I made a post about my quilt before as I've been working on it since last December, and now it's basically finished.  Yesterday, I sent it off to the quilter, Amy Wade who will use her computerized long-arm sewing machine to connect my top layer of piecework to bamboo viscose batting and raw silk backing.  Pre quilting:

The colors are all dyed 1 - 5 times to reach desired saturation and shade.  The dark blue is made using indigo - a totally new dyeing process for me.  The overall dimension is 80" x 88" and each square (of 2 triangles) is 4" x 4".  The Anni Albers textile design and color theory inspiration comes from her artwork, Triadic Series D.  For me, the principle definer of my design was not the triangles so much as it was the orientation of diagonals for each 20" x 20" area (each 20" square area rotates to create a diamond pattern within the grid).  

Anni's screenprint: 

Anni Albers. “Triadic Series D.” 1969. Lithograph

Anni Albers' work was more about pattern design and textile fabric design - her work was so crucial for modern textiles and she paved the way with her design theories and inventive ideas for fabrication.  For me, she paved the way for my planning in making this quilt.  I knew I needed a pattern and though I wanted symbolism incorporated, the pattern was most important for a textile I planned to see regularly in my bedroom.  Anni's patterns and design theories lend themselves to the gaze - harmonious repetition with just enough variety to keep us meditatively looking.

The dream symbolization for this blanket is just that: a blanket over our dreams.  Of all the things we can lay over ourselves each night, I wanted to create something to inspire and evoke dreams.  Mentioned before, I have been  seeing a psychotherapist and she is particularly adept at recognizing my visual nature through discussing my dreams and other visions.  I find myself now more dedicated to the stories of my dreams and I place more intention into the work of remembering them.  Beyond dream symbolism, this quilt certainly marks the place where my husband and I share the most intimate space in our home.  The rectangle of yellow and blue-gray is placed over our hearts as an offering of and recognition for light. 

Yes, this is my latest art work, though it doesn't yet have a title.  Yes, it is also the most functional artwork I have ever made, and we will be using it, inhabiting it as that might be it's real completion.

total number of pieces: 880.  I wonder if there's any auspicious meaning to that number....

someone who documents

Have I taken pictures of the triplex that my husband, Christian is building - that I have been working on too?  Have I taken pictures (outside of my smartphone camera) of the quilt that I've been working on for 6 months?  Have I taken any photos of closing day at the gallery that I ran for the last 3 years and closed this past Tuesday?

No.

I've been adverse to stopping all this doing in order to take a photograph or two and now I have a blog with no posts for almost two months!  I've considered making a post every few weeks or so and then I have instead done something like: work on a landscaping plan for the triplex, make plans for our little Siga - the standard poodle puppy that is coming home with us once we move into that triplex, get a tattoo, meet with friends that I haven't met with in a while, etc. etc.  There are times in one's life when the need to document just isn't there.  There are times when the documentation comes naturally...  I'm looking forward to that time coming up again.

For now, will a few smartphone photos suffice?  For now, a few brief statements about what has been going on?

Update number 1: Christian and I have a little standard poodle puppy waiting to come home with us as soon as we are ready.  His name is Siga (pronounced, See-gah).  We've wanted a dog for most of the time that we have been together (a long-ish time) and now he is finally in our lives.  We met with his breeder Betsey Beineke in Parker about a month ago and we were suckers for this little guy as soon as we held him in our laps. 

Update number 2: The triplex is under major-construction-all-the-time-so-much-going-on so that we can move in by the end of May.  The last photo that I took of the exterior is so outdated, I feel weird about posting it here, so I'm not going to.  I will try to make a more comprehensive photo collage of how it all looks.  For now, know that our hardwood floors are going in, the drywall and painting is completed, the kitchen cabinets are going in, the bathroom tile is done and waiting to be grouted, the garage doors are on, etc. etc.  I worked on the landscaping plan for several weeks culminating in one big push in April to get it ready for a contractor to review the plan and give us a bid (now in progress).

Update number 3: I've been working on a quilt for 6 months - starting with design in December of 2013, dying fabric in early 2014 (many attempts at a blue and red that would really work - I believe I succeeded), cutting fabric in February and March, then sewing for all of April through... yesterday!  This quilt is really spot on for me.  I had to make one major design change once I saw the finished work on the bed, but I am very very pleased with the completed work.  For me, this is a soulful project, a blanket for our dreaming and sleeping that speaks to the light in our hearts.  It is definitely related to the drawings that I have been making that focus on the primary colors and platonic shapes in relation to me in my visions and dreams. 

Update number 4: Danette and I, after almost a year of knowing the day was planned, knowing our time to move on to other projects and new directions is now, and knowing that GroundSwell Gallery has truly benefited many artists and the art community...  after all of this, we finally reached closing day on May 7th.  Our last show with Karen Fisher was a good exhibition with 3 sold artworks of which 10% of the profit went to the Denver chapter of the Alzheimers Association.  We feel great about the show and we feel wonderful about the last 3 years of success we have found with GroundSwell Gallery.  Susan Froyd of the Westword included both Danette and myself in her "Another 100 Colorado Creatives" which shares with Denver it's own contributing creative hard-hitters!  Link to that interview here.

Update number 5: I started making bread all the time...  There is hope for high altitude amateur bakers like myself because of "Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day."  

Update number 6: tattoo.  More on that later. "When I look at it, I think of Modern Art... on you." - my acupuncturist, Diana said this, and that makes me feel good about my instincts for putting permanent ink on my skin! 

cut

In the midst of cutting around 900 pieces of fabric to sew, I remember how much I love doing repetitive tasks and zoning out on a sunny morning. 

Anni Albers... again and again.

Anni Albers - Second movement II - intaglio print

I'm working on making a quilt for my bed that is at once my bed-spread and my artwork.  I'm unabashedly a person who likes to make all the "things" in my home count and mean something to my soulful-living-self.  At the start of this undertaking, I went back to my favorite textile designer of all time - Anni Albers.  Wife and partner to Josef Albers, she was also a student of Bauhaus, and the two of them came to the United States as part of the mid-century Jewish flight from Europe that so enriched our culture in more ways than most of the American public has any understanding for.  Both of them, through their teaching, design work, and art work made strong marks on the American aesthetic we take for granted today.  They did that through the framework of color theory and design theory that many attribute to Bauhaus, but Anni and Josef were truly unique voices nonetheless.  They integrated art with design in a way that significantly elevated public and private environments and culture.  Without going on and on about who they are - everyone should look them up, books listed below - I'll just share a few images of Anni Albers' printed patterns intended for textile printing.  These are the inspiration - through their aesthetic and theory - for my own design.  It is my intention to ride the inspiration of her design theory and art work to create a quilt that reflects my own soulful place in my bed (along with my partner Christian).  I'm dyeing the fabric now... process pictures are in order I guess, so I know I'll be posting about this project again.

 

Anni Albers - Triadic Series D - lithograph print

The sketch that I'm working with, color palette in progress:

Books:
Anni Albers : Selected Writings on Design - The fifteen essays gathered here illustrate Anni Albers's concept of design as the pursuit of wholeness.... (wow, seriously changed my work when I read this).

 Josef + Anni Albers : Designs for Living - this book was given to me by a mentor who gets me, Michael P. Johnson.  He pointed out that my husband and I have much in common with this dynamic pair and I am forever inspired by that comment.
 
There are SO MANY books on these 2 most influential artists/designers.